Where God Wants Me to Be

I reminded myself something today, and it made me want to think about it further. The topic is this: realizing that where you are right now is where God wants you to be.

I know, nothing profound. Seems rather obvious.

But here's the thing. Often I have found myself dissatisfied with situations in my life and around me. Situations that I have no control over. I think "Oh, I can't wait to get out of here." I think about how wonderful things will be once they change.

But to constantly be seeking change... is this the way we should be handling things?

God has a special purpose for your life.  I am here in Ontario. Another is in the other side of the world. We may never meet. But God has designed us to live lives that honour him -- in whatever environment we find ourselves in.

Instead of looking at how different your situation right now could be, look at your situation right now and think about how God has designed it specifically for you. In every trial and situation, there is a lesson to be learned - and a blessing to take away with you. I really do believe that.

God has a purpose and a plan for me here. No one else can fill my shoes, and I can't fill anybody else's shoes.

From now on, I want to look at my life through different eyes. How can I serve God with all my heart? How can I be a blessing today, right now, this week?

Where God plants me, I want to take root and grow.

"Be anxious for nothing..."

Fear.

I've struggled with it. So many of us have.

To be fearful is to be afraid of something as likely to be dangerous, painful, or threatening. Google defines it as "an unpleasant emotion". And what goes hand in hand with fear? Anxiety. "A feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome".

Oh, boy. I'm very familiar with that feeling. In fact, I came very close to having panic attacks in which I would start to hyperventilate whenever I thought about something that I was fearful about. I cried many tears at my inability to deal with certain situations. I have lain in bed, crying and praying for strength.

For a few years, Philippians 4:6-7 became my motto.

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."

Whenever I began to feel overwhelmed, I would pick up my Bible and turn to this passage. It's probably my most read scripture, to be honest.

Paul admonishes the believer to pray, and ask God humbly, earnestly, for help. To give thanks as you pray -- believing that God is already taking care of your need. When we are able to release our cares and worries, and trust that God is in control, that is when the peace of God will fill our hearts.

We humans, we're forgetful. Many times I have read this scripture, and fallen to my knees in prayer, asking God to fill me with peace. Many times I've risen, feeling soothed and more at peace -- but then I'd allow my anxiety to return. Again and again.

The Bible says to cast our cares on The Lord - for He cares for us. Cast. To cast is to throw something - to let go.  The Bible says let go of our cares and burdens.

It doesn't say set your burden down for a little while and then pick it up again. 

Surrendering is hard. Let it be a daily struggle. Don't accept that anxiety is just a part of who you are as a person. Keep praying and making supplications to God. Keep at it. No matter how long it takes to be freed from the chains of fear, there's a promise that those chains will be broken.

...

Fitting In

Have you ever felt out of place?

Growing up in a Christian household, and especially a pastor's kid, I definitely have felt out of place many a time.

At school I was the girl with the long hair and skirts and no makeup. I stood out. Big time.

At church, I was the pastor's kid - and in the teenage years especially, I found that a lot of youth tended to be cautious around me. Perhaps they thought I would tell my dad of their antics. Or maybe they thought me innocent and easily shocked. Maybe they feared my judgement. Whatever it was, I too felt out of place even among the people I should have been closest to.

It's funny because while other young people my age were going through their rebellious stages, I had pretty much already gone through mine--and because people kept their distance, they never understood that in fact I could have been a friend that they could have talked to. I would sympathize and pray for them. Not judge them. I wasn't perfect, either. Far from it.

The expectation that I was this perfect, godly individual bothered me. I am human, too. I made mistakes--lots of them. I sometimes look back on my young teenage years and think about how things could have gone so differently for me, had not God stepped in and changed my desires.

I felt uncomfortable looking different and having different interests from the people around me. I tried to fit in by listening to all the popular artists and reading the popular books that my classmates were into. I started incorporating curse words into my vocabulary to show my classmates that I was just like them. When people around me started talking about drinking, I showed interest. If I had ever gotten into a situation where somebody handed me a drink, I would have probably drank.

But God protected me from that.

I went to a camp the year I was 14. That's where I realized that God has a purpose for me. I am not born here to fit in with the world's ways. I am born to stand out. To be a light. There is more to life than the superficiality that the world hides behind.

The year after that, I went to a different school than most of my classmates for high school. I suddenly was thrust into a whole different atmosphere--different classmates and friends... and I had a different attitude.

The Bible tells us we are not of this world--we are the Lord's. As the old hymn goes

"This world is not my home
I'm just a-passing through"

Passing through this world, why not make a difference in the life of at least one person?
Can an individual make an impact if they meld into the crowd? Why hide in shadows, when we can spread light and positivity?

No, these days I no longer try to "fit in". Sure, I could use a confidence boost. I could be bolder. But I understand that fitting in has no benefits.

I want to be a  vessel that God can use. And He can't use me if I'm full of other things. The Bible says that whoever chooses to be a friend of the world renders himself an enemy of God.

"No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon".  Matthew 6:24

I'd rather serve God and find my position in His Word. Because that's where I fit in best. In His plan, and not mine own.

"Rejoicing in hope... Patient in tribulation"

In this crazy world we live in, it is so easy to get bogged down with all the negativity we see, hear, and experience. Terrible things happen. People get hurt or killed. Crimes and diseases run rampant. People betray you. Friends leave.

The apostle Paul in the Bible suffered much persecution. So many people were after his life. He survived a stoning. He once escaped a city by going over the wall in a basket. He was imprisoned multiple times.

It's astounding that he of all people should write to the Philippians: "Rejoice in the Lord always; and again, I say rejoice" (Phil 4:4). And in Romans 12, he wrote that as Christians we must be "rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing instant in prayer".

I can imagine Paul in a dark, dirty prison -- peaceful. I can imagine a guard looking at Paul in confusion, thinking "This man should be in anguish, and yet he betrays no feeling of inner turmoil. In fact, he appears to be at peace with his surroundings and his current situation! He must be crazy!"

Or perhaps the prison guard wondered about that peace Paul had, and desired to have it too. There is an account of Paul and Silas singing and praising God while they were in chains. Their worship filled the place to the extent that an earthquake shook the prison and chains were broken and doors opened. Not one person was hurt. Paul and Silas could have walked away right there and then, but they remained, and witnessed to a prison guard, leading him, and later on, his entire family, to Christ.

Paul understood that no matter what the situation, God was able to take it and use it for His glory. Paul had complete trust that the Lord was in control - God had a purpose for him to do. And if that purpose had been fulfilled, then it didn't matter where Paul was and what was going to happen to him. If he was to be killed, he knew that he was going to a place where the divine love and presence of the Lord reigned. There is no greater reward than that.

"These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." (John 16:33)

No matter the situation you are facing, take heart. Jesus conquered all sin and death on the cross of Calvary. He placed all of our sins, sickness, worries and cares on his own shoulder. And he rose in victory, showing that there is a resurrecting power that will take hold of our hearts and lives today. You may feel that things couldn't possible get better. They will. The price has been paid already. We are overcomers in Christ Jesus.

Wherever you are in your life right now, rejoice in this blessed hope that the gospel has brought to us. Be patient in your trials and tribulations and you'll see that God can take your situation and use it for His glory.

Continue in prayer. The Bible says that "the effectual fervent prayer of the righteous availeth much." God hears you. Trust that He is in control.

That's where we find peace. In trusting.

Starting a Blog | Take #100

To write out some of your thoughts and share some of your secrets and publish them on a platform for anyone to find is a vulnerable thing to do.

I've attempted keeping a blog for years now... and it just has never happened the way I wanted it to. There have been many times I began writing and publishing a post, and then ended up thinking twice about it... resulting in deleting the post altogether.

Why is that?

I got into the habit of always second guessing myself. I look at things I say or do and wonder how people are going to react.

I've decided that from now on, I'm going to create a space for myself here where I'll allow myself to write whatever I want to - and keep it up. To stop worrying about what other people are going to think. I'm going to do this for myself.

I'm not a great writer, but I enjoy writing. Though sometimes it gets frustrating when you just can't seem to find the right words to put together to express the point you're trying to make. But, no matter.

I'm going to let this blog evolve into whatever it will become. I just want a space to write my thoughts - whether they are random, deep, hilarious, or utter nonsense. :)

And should anyone stumble across this little blog of mine, I hope that they might find some encouragement or even a tidbit of amusement, too.